Why Atheists Are Stupid

Mankind has always created the gods in His own image, and so it came to pass that when mankind sought to become unified, it created God. The God that domesticated wheat and invented language and created the ability to see, all things which Mankind is responsible for. God is Mankind's representation of Itself to Itself. And that is why worshiping God is dumb as fuck.

The God of the Old Testament commanded people to worship the representation of Mankind. Meaning, people were worshiping themselves. How fucking narcissistic is that!! But do you know what's worse than worshiping God? Fearing God, being "God-fearing". Because it means you're a pathetic mewling infant scared of people and scared of your own species.

Even respecting God is too much to ask. What exactly is there to respect? Humanity is, in theory, a wondrous phenomenal species. And in practice is a total pile of crap that hasn't succeeded in eradicating war, disease, poverty, and death. In fact, you can find half a billion filthy pantheists on Earth who'll tell you these things SHOULDN'T be eradicated.

Of course, much of the blame for that is laid at the feet of anti-human cesspits like India and China, let alone Africa. Places that never believed in Humanity aka God. But even omitting all of these Hells, to which you'll be exiled if you can't get along with your fellow first worlders so be good, let's face it: God is a schizophrenic autistic shithead. Not deserving of respect!

But beyond the stupidity of respecting God, beyond the idiocy of worshiping God, beyond the utter dysfunctional patheticness  of fearing God, there lies the utter retardation of refusing to acknowledge its existence. Or even worse, being sanctimonious about refusing to acknowledge your own species' existence.

This is why atheists are the lowest of the low. Not only are they too stupid to figure out what God is, but they use their stupidity as an excuse to deny God's existence! Hey how about that, I'm sure there are plenty of people too stupid to comprehend what the Sun is. But do THEY deny the Sun exists? NO! Do they claim "Helios doesn't exist, only the Sun does"? NO!

One can only conclude that atheists AREN'T denying their own species' existence. How can that be when by definition they deny God's? Well, it's because they aren't human. What the fuck are they then, Cthulhu?! Yeah, atheists are solipsistic Cthulhus creatures denying that Mankind exists. Shapeshifting is the only possible explanation for why human-appearing creatures deny humanity exists.

Seriously though, atheism is the opium of sanctimonious primitives, and I am proudly ecclesiastical! Oh man, I think the only people who'll ever agree with me are Jesuits. I always did like them, very hardcore those fuckers. Not Karl Marx though, he's so stupid he wrote hundreds and hundreds of pages on a topic too obvious for words. Three volumes on communism? You might as well write three volumes on why we need the color blue. It's in the fucking sky! Like God.

For anyone questioning whether I'm serious, I like my parody to be 100% truthful and logical. It makes it funnier that way.