I was reading someone's story of catching their child masturbating when it occurred to me to wonder how I would react in that situation. The remarkable thing is that my answer to this, which took me 15 seconds to come up with, is something I have never heard or read of anyone doing anywhere on this planet. Mind you, I have seen a video where a mother did something similar upon catching her underage daughter stripteasing in front of a web cam.
The overwhelming attitudes towards sex on this planet are repressive, hateful and angry. Parents who resent their children masturbating because they themselves were punished for it, and are now probably too fucked up in the head, too overworked and just plain ugly to appreciate it. These kinds of reactions are common among third world countries like the USA and Eastern Europe, to say nothing of Africa, South America and Asia.
The second most common attitude towards sex in this world is child abuse. You know, come to think of it, I'm betting there's a number of asian countries where this is more prevalent than sexual repression. This is the attitude most prevalent in porn stories and it's a good indicator of how fucked up in the head most of humanity remains.
The third most common, or 'least common' since my attitude doesn't even register as a blip, is sex-neutral. The sex-neutral attitude is only found in advanced countries like the Scandinavian nations, Hawaii and I bet Tahiti. It's a kind of matter of fact, too serious, condescending attitude where parents tell kids that "everyone does it, they just do it in private" and "so should you". Because if everyone follows Hitler then you should too. What a great message of non-enjoyment of sex that sends to children!
No, my reaction would have no commonality with any of those. No way in fucking hell. I aim MY attitude at sex positive, not fucking neutral, and my reaction is going to reflect that fact. If I ever catch my kids masturbating, I'm going to let them finish and afterwards look at them with a shit-eating grin, ruffle their hair and explain to them I'm happy because I know they're growing up.
And that is how you start a genuine dialogue with your kids about sex instead of the cliche'ed Talk that adolescents laugh about in scorn because it shows how stuffy and fucked up their parents are. Because guess what? It DOES show their parents are stuffy and fucked in the head. The scorn adolescents heap on their parents is well deserved. It's not any kind of "phase" or "emo" or "angst" crap that hateful parents make up to condescendingly justify their "ungrateful" children finally taking a critical look at their own parents and not liking what they see.
The whole notion that children can be called "ungrateful" as if having a half-decent parent is something you should be "grateful" for (and any parent that pulls out that tripe doesn't qualify as half-decent at all) is entirely backwards. Parenting isn't something you pay back, it's something you pay forward so the whole basis for "gratitude" is non-existent. The only possible basis for gratitude a child may have is if their parent(s) did something that is way, way beyond what every other parent in their era is doing. Which of course I would be doing but not you since you are all monsters, as proven by the state of the world you've made.
Let me make it simple, and get back on topic. Kids masturbating is a rite of passage and as such is a good thing. So bloody fucking treat it as such! Catching your kids masturbating isn't a sad event. And explaining sex to them isn't similar to telling them you're divorcing or have been diagnosed with cancer. So smile you retarded jackass.
By the way, divorce doesn't happen near as often for couples with children as childless couples. The stats are deliberately misrepresented by the media, as usual since the media are doom-saying hacks who hate facts. Facts like nuclear power plants are perfectly safe, rape and crime are disappearing, the notion of past climate constancy is bogus, the notion of the Earth heating up being bad is even more bogus, the notion of there being any genuine empirical science behind climate studies is most bogus, American-born blacks are more fucked up and stupider than their white or even hispanic counterparts, elections are anti-democratic, individuals cannot ever change a system from within it, and marital breakdown isn't that bad!