Wednesday, March 09, 2011

How To Convey A Sex Positive Attitude To Children

I was reading someone's story of catching their child masturbating when it occurred to me to wonder how I would react in that situation. The remarkable thing is that my answer to this, which took me 15 seconds to come up with, is something I have never heard or read of anyone doing anywhere on this planet. Mind you, I have seen a video where a mother did something similar upon catching her underage daughter stripteasing in front of a web cam.

The overwhelming attitudes towards sex on this planet are repressive, hateful and angry. Parents who resent their children masturbating because they themselves were punished for it, and are now probably too fucked up in the head, too overworked and just plain ugly to appreciate it. These kinds of reactions are common among third world countries like the USA and Eastern Europe, to say nothing of Africa, South America and Asia.

The second most common attitude towards sex in this world is child abuse. You know, come to think of it, I'm betting there's a number of asian countries where this is more prevalent than sexual repression. This is the attitude most prevalent in porn stories and it's a good indicator of how fucked up in the head most of humanity remains.

The third most common, or 'least common' since my attitude doesn't even register as a blip, is sex-neutral. The sex-neutral attitude is only found in advanced countries like the Scandinavian nations, Hawaii and I bet Tahiti. It's a kind of matter of fact, too serious, condescending attitude where parents tell kids that "everyone does it, they just do it in private" and "so should you". Because if everyone follows Hitler then you should too. What a great message of non-enjoyment of sex that sends to children!

No, my reaction would have no commonality with any of those. No way in fucking hell. I aim MY attitude at sex positive, not fucking neutral, and my reaction is going to reflect that fact. If I ever catch my kids masturbating, I'm going to let them finish and afterwards look at them with a shit-eating grin, ruffle their hair and explain to them I'm happy because I know they're growing up.

And that is how you start a genuine dialogue with your kids about sex instead of the cliche'ed  Talk that adolescents laugh about in scorn because it shows how stuffy and fucked up their parents are. Because guess what? It DOES show their parents are stuffy and fucked in the head. The scorn adolescents heap on their parents is well deserved. It's not any kind of "phase" or "emo" or "angst" crap that hateful parents make up to condescendingly justify their "ungrateful" children finally taking a critical look at their own parents and not liking what they see.

The whole notion that children can be called "ungrateful" as if having a half-decent parent is something you should be "grateful" for (and any parent that pulls out that tripe doesn't qualify as half-decent at all) is entirely backwards. Parenting isn't something you pay back, it's something you pay forward so the whole basis for "gratitude" is non-existent. The only possible basis for gratitude a child may have is if their parent(s) did something that is way, way beyond what every other parent in their era is doing. Which of course I would be doing but not you since you are all monsters, as proven by the state of the world you've made.

Let me make it simple, and get back on topic. Kids masturbating is a rite of passage and as such is a good thing. So bloody fucking treat it as such! Catching your kids masturbating isn't a sad event. And explaining sex to them isn't similar to telling them you're divorcing or have been diagnosed with cancer. So smile you retarded jackass.

By the way, divorce doesn't happen near as often for couples with children as childless couples. The stats are deliberately misrepresented by the media, as usual since the media are doom-saying hacks who hate facts. Facts like nuclear power plants are perfectly safe, rape and crime are disappearing, the notion of past climate constancy is bogus, the notion of the Earth heating up being bad is even more bogus, the notion of there being any genuine empirical science behind climate studies is most bogus, American-born blacks are more fucked up and stupider than their white or even hispanic counterparts, elections are anti-democratic, individuals cannot ever change a system from within it, and marital breakdown isn't that bad!


Anonymous said...

I completely agree. We are sexual beings even while in the womb. It has been shown that infants in the womb have erections, but this is natural.

Little babies touch themselves because it feels good. The problem with society is that we've painted this kind of behavior as dirty and bad, which ends up giving people complexes and all kinds of issues.

I say don't mess with nature, we're trying to fight against our natural instincts and it's not healthy.

I have a 1 year old son who likes to touch himself in the shower and I don't yell at him for that, it's innocent and natural. Some times he'll grab mine when he sees it and is curious so I let him. I'm not turned on by it, he's just being a baby and is curious and exploring.

I really hate how we've created such a repressive society, and how the government can control what age people can start to express their love for each other, that's really not the government's place to be.

Richard Kulisz said...

That's because the USA is stuck in a split 4th / 5th mode of childrearing. Which frankly is an improvement over the UK's straight 4th mode of childrearing.

And a vast, VAST improvement over the 3rd mode of childrearing which was prevalent in the UK when the Puritans (who were a corporation) abandoned it.

In case you didn't know, in the 3rd mode of childrearing, sexual exploitation of children is omnipresent.

The Puritans went from the extreme of exploiting children to the other extreme of deciding children should be enslaved to keep them from having any form of sex at any cost.

It's sad to say that early Americans tying up their children to their beds at night to prevent them masturbating was actually an improvement over what preceded it. True though.

Oh and in case you're curious, the French who are in the 5th mode of childrearing, have copious verbal abuse about manners rather than copious verbal abuse about sexuality.

Only the Scandinavians are in the 6th mode of childrearing. Which is the first of the non-abusive modes. Speaking of which, the 7th requires AI parents and the 9th requires AI children.

And while I'm at it, there are modes of childrearing for homo sapiens before the 1st mode. It's just that those modes produce feral animals instead of recognizably human beings.

1 to 6 are the ONLY modes of childrearing in human history. Previous to that is prehistory. Following it is posthistory.

Garland said...

well what do you do if it's not the first time you've caught them masturbating. you can't keep tussling their hair and telling them they've growing up every time can you

or what if they're like 20

obviously try not to walk in on your kids masturbating. but i'm just saying what if you do. i don't want to convey a sex positive attitude the first time but then have it start to get negative