Friday, April 01, 2011

Why Software Is Stupidly Slow

People often bitch about software being slow and they have every reason to. Modern hardware has plenty of CPU and GPU cycles to spare, so why the fuck is it so slow? The software I have to use that's slow as molasses is Office, Opera and Firefox.

The first thing I observe is that these pieces of crapware do things I never asked them to do, I don't want them to do, things I don't need them to do, things I don't want them to do, things that nobody anywhere either wants nor needs them to do. Let's look at some examples.

Opera keeps all 30 pages I have in tabs immediately renderable. Did I ever ask it to do that? Like fuck I did. Most of those tabs are things I haven't looked at in days. One of them I hadn't looked at in 3 weeks.

Inevitably those 30 tabs will grow to 120 tabs, which will have Opera thrashing for no good fucking reason and then I'll save them all as a new session (rendering them unusable) and start from scratch.

If there were a better way to organize tabs than multiple windows (which are difficult to use and unhelpful) then I would use them. Not that moving the tabs to another window would help since Opera insists like some kind of fucking moronic retard to keep those tabs immediately renderable too!

Who the fuck decided it was a good idea to keep every bit of cruft a web user left opened immediately renderable? What kind of fucking retard at Opera decided on this dys"functionality"? I never wanted this feature, I never asked for it, I don't need it, NOBODY needs it. Nobody on the fucking planet needs it!

Nevermind that it is dysfunctional and fucking harmful, nobody needs this.

The same goes for Firefox and Office. I only open Office to read RTF files. Do I fucking need all this "functionality" that takes 30 seconds to load? For fuck's sake, does any Office user need it?! I would dearly love to know whether more than 10% of core Office users need to regularly change between 50 different fonts. I use one font, ONE, Sylfaen, that's it! 

It seems to me if software did ONLY what every one of the core users needs (instead of what's expected by the programmer's peers and tradition, or what the programmer thinks might be nice, or what users say they want or ask for, or what some user wants, or what non-core users need) then so much crap falls away in the code, so many "features" go away, that there's plenty of computing power for what's actually needed.


TGGP said...

I remember there being a program similar to Notepad called Wordpad that could read rich text files. I think that's more lightweight than Office.

Richard Kulisz said...

Doesn't work in Linux. And gedit doesn't read them.

Erik said...

I still use Wordpad on Windows. It's sophisticated enough to support pictures as well as rich text, and small enough to boot in less than one second. Very handy in this age of 100-font-containing, automated-graph-drawing, self-updating-table-of-contents-indexing gigaeditors.

TGGP said...

Googling, I found a person with similar requirements who eventually resolved his problem. Somebody else used wordpad through wine.

TGGP said...

Big list of rich text editors here.

Richard Kulisz said...

Why? You're assuming that I'm some kind of dumb bastard obsessed about efficiency at all costs. Or that I'm fine with polishing the turd that is Linux. Do I look like a fucking moron to you?

This isn't the only area of Linux that is a total fucking piece of crap. Nor is this the only dimension along which Linux is a total fucking piece of crap. And I fully appreciate ALL the ways and ALL the areas by which Linux is a fucking piece of crap. Because I am not a fucking moron!

What you're handing me is ... worthless. I suppose that wasn't obvious to you so I'll give you the barest hint of the full scope of my requirements:

give me an OS that once installed will be usable out of the box, has sane defaults, will crash or hang less once a year, won't lose my data EVER for ANY reason, and will require no more than 15 minutes to configure and maintain over the first 3 years of operation.

What you handed me VIOLATES these requirements because it spends 5 minutes out of that (already overdrawn) 15 minutes I allocate to fix RTF display software. How retarded is that? Do you imagine reading RTF files is the ONLY thing I do with my computer?!

I don't have time for this shit. And I don't imagine any sane person does either.

Richard Kulisz said...

You know what, TGGP? It's obvious to me that THE WHOLE POINT of this blog post completely passed you by.

This blog post isn't about how Linux is shit (even though it is) or that I'm suffering from it (even though I am), the whole point of it is that software IN GENERAL is bloated with functions that SHOULDN'T EXIST. And that this bloat has side-effects of making software slow, inefficient, vastly less usable, and brittle!

I will thank you if I no longer have to deal with your total fucking cluelessness on this or any other blog posts of mine.

TGGP said...

Given the imperfections of software generally, I can't of course hand you that OS. But among the complaints you had was using Office for RTF, and I figured an improvement on that would be better than nothing. You replied to my initial mention of Wordpad by saying it wouldn't work on Linux, not that it would take 5 minutes. If someone takes the time to blog some complaints about a piece of software, I assume they are willing to spend 5 minutes replacing it.

Richard Kulisz said...

The 60 seconds I spent evaluating it would take me more than 5 minutes (in fact, 20-30 minutes) is how much time I was willing to spend to fix the problem completely. As is, that 60 seconds was wasted to achieve no result. So fuck you very much.

Have you got Asperger's that you're so unable to see the lawn for the individual blades of grass in it? If someone shows you an ugly lawn and then a single dandelion on it, that doesn't mean they want to spend hours of excruciating effort weeding it by hand. And your "helpful" little "suggestion" that they could "just pull it out manually" is fucking unwelcome.

When someone's got a mountain of problems crushing them and you come along telling them to just remove this one little pebble, don't be surprised if they resent and hate you for it. After all, you're just telling them "you've got no right to whine and complain since you're not willing to invest the staggering sum of thousands of hours of effort to solve your problems, so you should suffer in silence".

You deserve a Bitch. Slap. Across. Your. Face. To. Wake. You. The Fuck. Up.