Response to a Gaian Saying "We gotta stop messing with the planet"

Messing with the planet? Yeah, that's right, because in your retarded antedeluvian ideology, things were PRISTINE and CLEAN and BEAUTIFUL back 9000 years ago.

Back before humans invented fire to cook inedible food. Back before humans invented agriculture so they wouldn't have to leave their children to die. Back before humans invented caring for their children instead of leaving them to fend for themselves like the cannibalistic monkeys we evolved from.

Back before we created wheat so we could have bread to eat. Back before we created strawberries so we could have something tasty and edible. Back before we created houses so we wouldn't die in caves. Back before we invented outhouses so we wouldn't sicken from our own feces.

Back before we learned to skin animals and wear their fur in order to escape disease-ridden jungles. Those "paradises" you think so fondly and proudly of. Ever visited one? Naah, don't need to after all, they're picturesque and BEAUTIFUL. That's all you need to know.

Back before we invented culture to escape crazy psychopathic murderous evolutionary throwbacks from our own species. Throwbacks that look and act remarkably like wolves and chimpanzees following their BIOLOGICAL NATURE. Isn't biology great?!

Back before we invented technology so that we could have the time and the wealth necessary to solve our own problems. To wash our cheaply manufactured clothes so we could be hygienic and not be plague-ridden.

To warm our hearths without burning the trees you so cherish and without burning the polluting coal you so hate or drown whole forests with hydroelectric dams but rather with nuclear fire.

Back when our entire species was at the mercy of a single bad tsunami or earthquake or Ice Age. Back before we created technology that might let us divert an Extinction Level Event-type asteroid. Or escape the Yellowstone Supervolcano that's set to blow any millenium now by going orbital.

Things were SO MUCH BETTER back before humans MESSED WITH all the evil things that Nature threw at us, weren't they? Starvation, deprivation, illiteracy, mass murder, genocide, cannibalism, infanticide, and death. THOSE were the times!!

Man, this is why I despise you Gaians. You're neither Good nor Evil and you hate everything Good in the universe as equally as everything Evil. And it just so happens that everything Good in the universe was created by humanity so logically you hate humanity.

So don't try to handwave away my principled contempt and scorn for you by claiming I'm having a bad day. I could be having the best day of my life and I would still despise you.

In fact, if I got to watch you doused in gasoline and got to throw a lit match on you, and get away with it, that would make my day. Why? Because I hate people who hate humanity like you do.

Humanity is my freaking species and it is capable of greatness, it is uniquely capable of Goodness. Even though it has wholly squandered its potential so far. So I get rather ... upset when know-nothing shitheads like you try to insinuate that it should be killed off.

And I know very well that in your heart of hearts that's exactly what you believe. That it would simply be more CONVENIENT if humanity didn't exist at all. That it would somehow be BETTER.

Your continued existence is inimical to that of humanity's. And it is why you ought to die.