Types of Programmers

phenomenologically = "Let me talk to you about the experience called Flow."

epistemologically = has 50 books entitled "A Beginner's Guide For Dummies Unleashed In 30 Days". Actually even two of those abominations probably counts.

philologically = asshole knows 50 programming languages and makes sure you know it. The number of languages you know is like the length of your dick. How long is yours?

physiologically = knows the insides of the system inside and out, including all the exploits to break it. Just in case he ever gets fired. Doctors make the best murderers, don't you know?

anthropologically = knows the glorious history of not just computing standards but the standards organizations and other cultural artifacts of the computer industry.

ontologically = objects!! Of which Java has none.